Post-graduation depression

So, I graduated from college (yay!). It has been a whirlwind of emotions, from not knowing if I actually passed my classes as I was walking across the stage, to pure excitement and full of pride, to where I am now. There's post-vacation depression, post-concert depression, and I'm currently stuck in a post-graduation depression.

What I thought was just that feeling of being on "summer break" was actually just a trick. It did feel like that for a bit, but after it sunk in that I have a college degree and no more upcoming classes or semesters, reality set in. The reality for me currently is I am a restaurant server with a college degree. Job searching is tiring and discouraging. Hope is harder to hold onto than I expected, as is determination.

It’s taken me months to finish this blog post as is.

So, how do I get through it? There’s been a couple things that I’ve been holding onto.

My best friend’s mom once said to me, “Write everyday.” She said, “Write everyday even if you don’t know what to write about,” or something along those terms, but it stuck with me. Every day that I don’t write, I think about her saying that. Creators need to create, or they’ll never create their greatest work yet. With that in mind, I’ve been trying to journal more often and I am gradually getting back into poetry again. I’ve been brainstorming writing prompts for my blog or interviewee ideas for my podcast. It hasn’t been easy by any means, but a start is better than nothing.

As far as the job hunt post graduation, my therapist openly diagnosed me as “burnt out” from my current job. That realization, along with seeing that nothing is holding me back from starting my job search, has been motivation enough for me to check my email almost everyday to see what Indeed and LinkedIn have in store for me. That’s not to say it pains me with every rejection email I read, but out of the hundreds of rejection emails and the thousands of “no longer accepting applications,” there will be someone out there that is looking for me.

As hard as hope is to hold onto, it’s harder to stay in a rut.