Album Review: Blood of Your Empire by PRESIDENT takes me through the five stages of grief

Anonymous English band PRESIDENT released their debut full-length album, Blood of Your Empire. It may be rooted in PRESIDENT's crisis of faith and existential questioning, but when I listened to it from beginning to end, I heard something deeply familiar: grief.

The best way I can explain how this album made me feel is through the five stages of grief.

The album begins with PRESIDENT's very first song written, "Angel Wings". This was the first song I listened to by the band, so the album beginning with it felt like a full circle moment for me as a fan.

It feels like denial to me.

The President, the frontman, says, "Keep thinking I see your face and then the shape retracts," as well as "Keep thinking I hear your voice but then it always cracks." To me, these lines is the feeling of not having someone in your life that used to always be around.

The song transitions from this longing feeling to a sprinkle of anger; The President says, "Is it safe to say that you never fucking loved me anyway?" and he ends the breakdown with screaming "I hope you break your neck!"

"DOOM LOOP" still holds hints of denial, with the feeling of being stuck in this vicious cycle. The existing idea of this person that's difficult to let go of is still present; "I find it hard to breathe when I'm not in your arms," he says.

In the chorus, he continues with the confusion saying, "Days dissolving now in slow decay, the years are flickering, flickering, flickering, flickering..." This stuck feeling goes hand in hand with grief and not knowing how to move on.

"dark heaven" follows, bringing up more of the rage, but it isn't rage towards someone else, it's towards himself. He says, "Dying inside, I wish I could drift away, I'm so tired of hurting, I'm in dark, dark heaven..." It's the anger that comes from being sick of feeling grief.

"Pink Noise" is the taste of taking back yourself, taking back your power. Anger still resides: "Tell me, how does it feel when the poison is running through your blood?" However, some hope arises and the feeling of being stuck feels a lot less daunting: "I'm still fucking here, my town, my rules, you better start fucking listening," The President says.

The song begins with a very upbeat rhythm leading into soft vocals. That softness doesn't last though, as it jumps to screaming in the bridge and chorus. The rhythm fluctuates throughout the song while maintaining the same tempo. One thing is evident to me: when he sings "Pink noise," I can feel the pain in his voice. It feels like trying to hold on to the anger when the sadness is creeping in from behind.

If there is a piece of bargaining, it's in "Mercy". He says, "Can I wander through your garden? Can I wash my face in your milk? There's a poison in your ivy and sand in your soap, but I'm all in." It's the desperation of wanting to hold on while knowing you need to let go.

One of the strongest songs on the album, in my opinion, is "Sleepwalker". To me, it was placed beautifully in the middle of the album, and I feel this song represents the depression of the five stages.

The song begins with some cool synthesizers behind a voice sharing a vulnerable message: "Nobody gives a fuck about you..." From that the breakdown leads into drums somewhat mimicking the synth sounds. The verses are quick and the chorus feels almost slowed down.

The President says, "I find it hard to keep my head up, I know, sometimes I'm just a shell of myself holding on..." This song is the crack in the pavement. The chorus brings that thought home: "I keep sleepwalking, I don't know how to wake up, lucid now inside a dream but I'm reaching out, and no one sees me..."

It's hopelessness. Helplessness. Fear. Anger. Desperation. The breaking point.

"Dionysus" was featured on King of Terrors and it is reintroduced in Blood of Your Empire. When I was first listening to the album fully through, I heard the change instantly. There's a heaviness that isn't there in the King of Terrors version.

The two recordings almost remind me of the comedy and tragedy masks. The King of Terrors is the comedy mask, with its more upbeat feeling, whereas the new version on Blood of Your Empire is the tragedy mask, where the dissonance in the song makes you feel eerie and uncomfortable. That discomfort contributes heavily to the flow of the album, and I'm so glad they made this creative decision.

It still holds some feeling of grasping and depression, but it nicely segues into the next song.

The other hard hitter is "This Will Divide Us". I knew as soon as I heard the first note of the piano that I was going to sob (and I totally did).

The piano carries the same sadness I hear in the opening notes of My Chemical Romance's "The Black Parade." It's that foreshadowing for an incredibly intense, vulnerable musical moment that I hold so near and dear to me. The piano matches the desperation in the lyrics and vocals in a beautiful way. Despite the sadness of the song, there's still synthesizers that blend in a strange but gorgeous way.

To me, this song feels like the beginning of acceptance. It's still teetering between depression and acceptance, but I see the first shimmer of hope within the darkness. I feel that shift when The President says, "I wish you had noticed when I was veering off the tracks...Guess you can't, guess you won't."

One of the finest and most emotional moments in this song isn't the lyrics, but the trumpet solo. It's short and sweet, but it caught me by surprise during my first time listening. It was so thoughtful and evocative. I was lying in bed hearing this for the first time, and my eyes opened and my jaw physically dropped. Brass or woodwind instruments in modern music are hard to come by, and this was a beautiful musical decision. The trumpet solo is short and sweet, but goes from hopeful to realization to that feeling of "Damn."

I can't stress enough how well the electronic sounds mesh with the piano and vocals. The electronic sounds reflect the hopeful aspect of the song, while there's still that pressing feeling of reality and doom from the piano and vocals.

Healing isn't linear, and I feel like that is very present in this whole album. Even nearing the end, in "This Will Divide Us", he still says, "Love me, I'll learn to swim with the weight of your love on my back." My understanding is that, despite knowing it isn't working out, there's still that urge to hold on and do whatever you can to hold on.

"Hate Figure" is truly a different animal. It's anger, but it really is unfiltered acceptance. To me, it's admitting that the world we live in is media-consumed, and it's okay to be angry and reject that. It's raw, it's powerful, it's the epitome of not giving a fuck. Anger and acceptance shouldn't be palatable; it should be real. This song doesn't just feel angry with the heavy vocals and intense instrumentals, but it feels like the anger isn't being held back anymore.

Wrapping up with "White Devil" is truly genius. I love a closing song for an album that sounds like it was created to close out the album, but still exists on its own as a work of art.

This is the acceptance; "Sometimes I wish I never learned your language 'cause now I hear the truth." It's not clean, it's not completely freeing. There's still resentment, anger, sadness; but the truth is known.

There is the positive side to this, though: "I'll keep on dancing, I'm just shaking off the rage." It's such a simple yet quirky line, but it's so telling. It's doing what you want to do despite it all. It's not letting the grief consume you anymore. It's continuing to dance.

One of the common themes I noticed is feeling like no one is there to save you from the darkness. There are a couple of different cries for help throughout the album, expressing the feeling of being unable to escape and no one coming to the rescue.

The theme that truly resonates with me, however, is the chaos that surrounded by love. When there is no hero, there is also the confusion of loving and not being loved back. That is why I feel such an attachment to this album. Listening to this album front to back is a truly spiritual experience for me.

By the time "White Devil" comes on, it's no longer just acceptance; it's choosing to keep dancing, even if it is "dancing two-step with the devil."